More Than Makeup
end of year motivation
This is my last post of 2016, I was going to skip this week because of the holidays but upon reflection, I have decided to write a slightly different article for you.
I could do another party makeup post, or some sort of beauty tutorial (have a look at this, this or this if that is what you would like to read), but for those of you who know me, you know I have a lot more to talk about than just makeup. Beauty, Green Beauty, makeup + Self Image is my field of choice, expertise + experience, however, I am a student of Life, a sharer, advice giver ( a not so good advice taker I shamefully admit) and in a recent holiday conversation, someone said I should write a book. If I did that, it would be the shortest book in history, maybe an essay ... or perhaps a blog post.
So as advice giver to the stars (my friends), opinion holder on many topics, a BS non-tolerator, I thought I would share with you a few lessons and insights from 2016, that hopefully can help you in 2017.
After attending a Higher Selfie conference last year I was inspired to read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks This was a return to the self help genre I had put aside for some time. The Author's concept is that we limit ourselves with certain deeply entrenched beliefs and the book explains how to eliminate them to move to our Zone of Genius. I am currently reading Step Up by Phanella Mayhall Fine + Alice Olins which is a great guide for working women looking for their Career Unicorn.
Amy Cuddy talks about how Body Language can actually change your brain helping you to Fake it until you become it. This is a way to deal with what we increasingly refer to as 'imposter syndrome'. When I was doing my BA in psychology, the medicalisation + naming of every psychological phenomenon under the sun had just begun, so I would not personally dub the feeling of not belonging a 'syndrome' that needs to be 'treated' but rather an insecurity (regardless of its provenance or validity) that needs to be handled (But I became an MUA, not a Pychologist... well not officially anyway)
I was also inspired recently by Leila Hoteit talk on Lessons from an Arab Businesswoman. Her simple 3 points were about community, harnessing other people's issues and managing personal life as you would work .
Finally, all girls who wish to be Women should watch Michelle Obama speak on Anything. A good summation is her Farewell to the White House Interview with Oprah, in which she talks about how words matter ( I have always believed this), and how we need to behave like Grown Ups despite the examples given to us by many in the spotlight .
This Too Will End
I was told this years ago when going through a hard time, and was reminded of it this past year. To be totally honest, I have a blessed and charmed life, but sometimes the chickens get you down, or there are outside pressures or life situations that can be stressful and weighty. Sometimes that requires putting your head down and resting, or putting your head down and WORKING, either way, you need to be alone. This is important time. Like a caterpillar building its Chrysalis, no one else can do this for you. Eliminate outside distractions, and focus on the few important things that matter, safe in the knowledge that good or bad, this too shall pass.
Break-it-Down + Change Perspective
An unlikely recepient of my verbose waffling told me I should write a book, and perhaps self aggrandisingly, I felt that my advice helped, so I thought I would share it.
Here it is: If you are not Loving your Life or what you are doing right now:
Break-It-Down : First, do a Hip Hop dance, then look at time in bite size chunks.
Switch your point of view so you can see the bigger picture and what you are working towards (I am not claiming this as original thought, loads of modern philosophy + self help books made me say this)
The truth is, we cannot always muster the drive to do our passion work when we have Bills to pay. Sometimes, what you are doing is simply making ends meet, paying the bills, existing, but not Living with a capital L. When that goes on long enough, it becomes harder and harder to build up the motivation to do your Life's Work ( because sometimes your Life's Work is not what you get paid for) Other times it is very comfortable to keep going and safely earning money (the aforementioned Mr Hendricks' Zone of Excellence)
A friend is in precisely this situation. My suggestion was he see this time as finite, rather than a limitless expanse, beating himself up daily for not feeding the fire of his Life's Work.
I asked him a few questions:
What if he decided to put a number on the amount of time he would give himself, and calculate that in a very Logical way (i.e.: do the financial math)? What if he took the next 3/6/12/18 months to contribute to the health of his bank accounts? Result: This would contribute to his mental health in feeling financially safe and stable.
What if he gave himself this time (in child's pose as I call it) to take a rest from the destructive self-chastising for not doing something? Result: See the TREMENDOUS VALUE of what he WAS doing : he is lucky enough to A) be good at what he gets paid for + B ) enjoys it. So, he IS contributing to the team he works with, he IS providing for his family and their future, and that IS a POSITIVE IMPACT.
What if he also took this moment to mentally rest from the Life's Work (passions can be exhausting)? Maybe having a little space to breathe ( back to the caterpillar -crysalis-butterfly thing), might reveal some new inspiration.
I also asked him what the Money/Time-is-no-object Objective with the Life's work is, and his answer was TOTALLY within reach and manageable, but he hadn't quite seen it until he said it out loud to a (slightly) outsider.
The reason I regale this long tale to you is this: if you are having a hard time building up the energy to create something new/different that requires mental space and physical time, perhaps give yourself LIMITED time off from it. Say to yourself, I will not touch this until ... this date, but on that day, I WILL begin the first baby step to achieving ... (insert dream here), which is ..(insert baby step, or preferably, giant leap)
And then ask yourself What is Sooooo Unachievable about that goal, and break it down into steps. Give yourself a bit more credit. Some of this stuff is HARD, or far away, or One More Thing to do at then end of a very long list.
But what is the alternative ?
I wish you and your family a healthy, inspired and peaceful 2017, full of Love, Exciting Adevntures and Joy.
Stay Beautiful, Inside and Out.